Coming to a Gym Near You…

I’M AFAA CERTIFIED!!!!

I’ve been waiting and waiting…and waiting for these results for what feels like an eternity! I know that my presenter told us it would be about 4-6 weeks, but I always assume they overestimate these things and when it got to be mid-way through week four this week, I started to  doubt that I’d passed the practical portion of the exam–I was almost positive I had passed the written portion.  Then last night, I just had a feeling that it was the day.  I was in class until 7pm, so I texted my sister and asked her to please get the mail, but not to tell me if anything came. When I walked in the door after class, I noticed the envelope sitting on the table. I ran over to the table, sat down, and ripped it open to see what was inside. All I read was the “Congratulations!” on the letter and I threw it down and screamed/cried/laughed and every emotion in between! Everything I’ve been feeling for the past months and weeks came flooding out of me like nothing I’ve ever experienced before.

All night I could not stop smiling and staring at my certificate. I DID IT!

What this means to me is something I’ve tried to put into words so many time, yet I fail every time.  All I know is right now I’m on top of the world and I don’t see myself coming down anytime soon. I have never wanted anything so badly, and I have achieved it.  These few months have led me to amazing new people and experiences, and deepened my passion for fitness, both for myself and for others.  I am so excited to be a part of the AFAA family–one that has already welcomed me with open arms in the past 24 hours! I am even more excited to start planning my classes and get out there to help others realize that fitness truly can be for everyone and that they can make their lives however they want.

So to everyone out there who has a dream and is not sure they have “what it takes” to make it happen.  I’m here to tell you you do. Fight for it, and when it’s yours, rejoice in that moment. There is no better feeling.

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Summer fun! and the Camp Care Countdown

Yesterday, I read a post by Dana of the Uncommon Sense blog–a wonderful blog about life with her adorable daughter Maya! She talked about having SBAD, or Seasonal Blog Abandonment Disorder, and how she’d been letting her blogging slip by in exchange for ice cream and park trips and all-around fun. I got a kick out of this concept and it is so true!! Summer showcases so many more fun activities than sitting on your couch (ahem, like I am right now) blogging.

For the most part, I feel like I’ve suffered from this a bit as well between weekend getaways, trips to the beach, and just being plain old busy, but right now I feel like writing. About what?

My first swimming lesson went great last week! I was nervous the night before, but when the time came I promised myself I’d try everything at least once and see where it took me. By the end of the half hour a swam all way to the deep end with just two noodles under me for support! Needless to say, I will be having another lesson this week.

We are officially 11 days away from Summer Camp Care 2011 and I couldn’t be more excited! Not only will this summer’s camp be acting as a sort of reunion between myself and some QU friends that I, regrettably, don’t get to see very often, but I also feel more “ready” for this year’s camp.  As I said in this post, you can never be truly ready for the amazingness that camp bestows upon you, but you can try.

First off, I’ll be staying up in the town when Camp Care is located this year, which is going to make things all the more wonderful! Camp is only about 45 minutes from my house and I had been going one because it was easier to shower, etc in my own house but that also meant either leaving early from fun night events with the kids like the BBQ and talent show, or getting home at 11pm only to leave the house by 6:30 the next morning. No good. Staying will allow me to have extra bonding and fun time (and extra sleeping time!!)

I’m also looking forward to taking on the dual role of Camp Care camper and volunteer. At past camps, I have had moments of questioning my place–if I really belong as a camper or a volunteer, what I could even do to help the kids, what I could even do to help myself?  Though I’ve had many times of questioning myself over the past few months, I feel much more sure of my abilities to be available for our amazing kids physically and emotionally. I also feel much more sure of my own goals and things in order to make the most of my experience as a camper.

It’s going to be a great 4 days!! Followed immediately by a week of beach vacation before the semester starts up…but let’s not talk about that yet!!! 🙂

Why I don’t mind that “I’m (not) in it” for the 2011 New York City Marathon

I wasn’t sure how today was going to go when I woke up and found out that tonight’s spin class was already full before I got the chance to sign up, but things quickly started looking up when I didn’t have to work and got to go to the beach for the day. I’m not the biggest fan of the beach since it’s not quite the most accessible place in the world, but every now and then with my crutches I don’t mind.

I love the moments when I can just sit and stare out at the water and let the answers to my life’s questions float into me with the tide–and today just that happened.

Ha! Don't you wish CT beaches looked like this?? Photo: Carillon-Beach.com

I’ve obviously been doing a lot of thinking (and writing) about the things that make me happy and the things that I do for me, but I never really shared what led me to question that.  So, here’s a bit of the story…a few months back I became a member of Achilles International a group for people with disabilities who run, bike, do all sorts of sports.  I didn’t really know what I was getting into, but it sounded great. At the start, I got in touch with the head of the CT chapter of Achilles who told me about a handcycle (like a regular bike pretty much, but pedaled with your arms). We also talked about how the New York City Marathon has special spots for handcyclists/Achilles athletes. I was already getting my hopes up!

A few months later, I met Tony, an above knee amputee and all around great guy. He brought one of his handcycles for me to try out and it was pretty awesome. But let me tell you, these things are not for the faint of heart! They take some serious arm power.  I left that day feeling like I had made a pretty cool connection in the adaptive athletics world.

Tony and I right before trying out the handcycle

Fast forward to not getting a lottery pick for the 2011 NYCM and I wasn’t all that upset. Why? By the time I got home from that day, I knew the handcycle was awesome and that I liked it, but I had this tiny voice inside of my head and heart that was telling me it just wasn’t quite right for me. It wasn’t involving my legs enough, challenging them, or allowing me to tap into my true motivations.

In true Molly fashion, I ignored the voice and kept plugging along until I reached a point where that voice got so loud I could barely hear myself think. At that point, I removed myself from the 2 races I was scheduled to do with the handcycle, and went back to the drawing board.

What does all of this have to do with the beach? I’m almost there I promise. About 2 weeks ago, a friend (hey Lor! 🙂 ) approached me about helping to create an adaptive category for a 10k race she helps run in September for the Mari Hall Foundation. I jumped at the opportunity and immediately felt like everything was going to fall back into place.

What I’ve come to realize over the past few weeks is this: I don’t do races to win. I don’t even do them to place. Or for the attention, the one girl in the crowd who is overcoming this challenge known as CP. Because every single one of us has challenges; whether they’re visible or not. I do races because of the challenge; because of the mental and physical push it requires me to commit to as soon as I step on the start line and even before when I’m stretching and spinning and doing whatever else to get ready.

For me, the only way I know to tap into that challenge is on foot because, whether this is fair or not, I equate CP with my legs, not my brain. Actually, that’s not fair at all. Sorry legs, my bad!! And that’s why the handcycle didn’t feel quite right to me.

Okay, okay, back to the beach. Water. I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately too. Many of you might know, how great water therapy is for people with various disabilities. Well in my own head and heart, I’m finally jumping on that bandwagon. (Sidenote: I can’t believe I even just thought, let alone wrote, this sentence given my previous detest/downright refusal to even try this for years!!) As I was watching my 2-year old niece play down by the water today, I swear I heard that same voice that told me the handcycle wasn’t right, tell me water was.

Here’s what I know:

  • I can’t “get out and train” everyday like many other runners/walkers/I don’t even know what category I consider myself do. It’s not ideal right now given that my streets have no sidewalks and tracks are freaking boring.
  • When you’re in the water, you tend to not feel fatigued as quickly, allowing you to possibly get more out of your exercise time.
  • Water holds you up, meaning that I can practice movements without worrying about falling over. Drowning? Eh, a friend once told me I have 4-5 minutes to be rescued if I drown. I’ll risk it.
  • I can walk in water. I mean really walk, without crutches or walker or anything. Do I really need to explain why this is a plus?! Come on! What are 90% of my post about? Okay, you may argue that I can totally do that on land too. I won’t disagree, it’s just way easier in water.

(Disclaimer: These aren’t facts. I’m just a 20 something blogger on a mission to make a change.)

So it looks like water will be another added method of training and therapy this summer. Thanks for sticking by me, and see you all out on the road.
Oh, and for those of you who are really good at reading between the lines: YES I’m doing a 10k in September; YES on foot; YES I already got the okay; and YES I know at least 3 people reading will try to convince me not to! Did I mention I’m really stubborn? 😉

More rambles

There are so many random thoughts going through my head today. I blame the absolutely GORGEOUS weather!

Dear Mother Nature, can it please stay like this from now on?? 🙂

Thanks to everyone who showed their support on my last two posts. I definitely felt it. I am happy to report that I’m back on track and really ready to go again. I find myself questioning so many things all the time, but it always comes back to my heart and the dreams and goals that sit, impatiently, inside waiting to be let out. They haven’t changed in years. And that’s OKAY. They are what I want to do, what make me happy, for ME. And I’m going to do them. (I’ll get into what some of those are at a later date).

So, for now, it’s back to basics–stretching everyday (EW!), crawling, standing, walking. And, most importantly, remembering that I need to breathe every now and then. I tend to forget that all too often 🙂

The Dance

That last post I wrote was totally me pulling a Debbie Downer. I was feeling stuck in a rut, and didn’t really know what to do. I can’t really apologize for my feelings as they were expressed, but I can definitely apologize leaving everyone wondering what the heck was going on for a few days.

Crossroads came at the perfect time this week (along with a visit from my college roommate and a spin class) and has really helped me get back on track both mentally and physically. I’m not going to go into details, since a lot of it was really…profound actually…and quite personal as far as the whole brain effecting the body; body effecting the brain thing goes, but what I can say this this:

I’m learning that, sometimes, the only thing to do is to get upset, and get angry, and not know what to do. Because if you deny yourself those emotions, they can so easily turn to hate. Hatred of the situation your in, or worse, hatred of yourself. That is a difficult place to be, and somewhere even more difficult to climb out of once you’re there.

There’s a fine line between the two sides, between the two “worlds” I often say I feel like I find myself living it. It truly is a dance. And the only way to dance it well is to take it each step at a time. I’m still learning the steps…

If it makes you happy

…it can’t be that bad. Right?

This post has been on my mind for a while, though I don’t have the slightest idea where it’s going to end up. I’ve wanted to blog for weeks, but had papers due and sleep to take advantage of whenever I could.

Last weekend, my Dad and I went to see Elton John (for the 5th time together) at the DCU center is Worcester. It was a Christmas present for him, with the added bonus that he had to take me to get the present. 😉 He put on an amazing show, playing a mix of everything from the hits, to new music with special guest Leon Russell, and two of my favorites which he never plays live–Funeral for a Friend and Candle in the Wind! Did I mention how amazing it was??

While I was at the concert, I had one of those incredible, indescribable moments where you just find yourself thinking “wow, this is my life”. It was amazing to spend the time with my dad, something we don’t get to do very often due to our busy lives, and to be able to share this experience, for the 5th time in my 22 years, of seeing a true legend take the stage and play to a sold out crowd for 3 straight hours. He even jumped on the piano at one point and did a little handstand type thing on the keys! Such classic Elton! 🙂

Then he played “Don’t Let The Sun Go Down On Me”.

This is one of my favorite song/lyric combinations of all time.  As I was listening and singing along, the same line that always touches me hit my heart full force. “But these cuts I have, oh they need love, to help them heal.”

These words have always rang true for me. Yet, in that arena, in that moment, it reached a whole new level.  I have cuts. I have many physical cuts. Many relating, in some way or another, to Cerebral Palsy.  These cuts have had various meanings: surgeries, injections, falls…life.  Each of these cuts was made under the guise of  betterment. To make me stand better, walk better, function better. Be better. Because, according to some logic, being better=being happier. Right? Wrong. These cuts, well, they led to a lot of scars. Not the kind of scars you can see. The hidden scars. The invisible scars. The scars on the inside, on your heart. I never understood this logic, but there was one thing I did understand. The physical cuts will heal on their own.  All that will be left will be thin scars.  These physical scars, however, will always serve as a reminder of the emotional ones. In order to heal those, you need to love and feel love. And sometimes that love comes by doing something you love.

For me, that’s working on walking by myself. (I don’t know where this openness is coming from, but I’m just going to go with it before my brain tells my heart to stop).

The past few weeks have felt like a giant answered prayer for me.  I’ve been working on walking a lot in PT and looking up all sorts of information that I think could help. In it’s own way, this has been, and continues to be, a healing process for me. It might one half hour every week (sometimes less), but for that short amount of time, I am as happy as I can imagine myself being.  With each step, I feel love and I feel healing.

Walking used to be about normal.

It used to be about a cure.

It used to be about forgetting CP.

It used to be about proving so many people wrong. (Okay, I can’t lie. Ir’s still a little about that.)

Today? Today it’s about that feeling on the inside.

It’s about believing in where I am and who I am and my strength and determination to be going after something that is so not easy.

It’s about making every one of those scars on the outside mean something, and making the one’s on the inside slowly start to close.

It’s about knowing I can, and knowing that when I do, someone else out there will believe they can too.

It’s about love, and happiness, and healing.

His Love through the earbuds

Today was a day filled with a whole lot of nothing. I worked from home this morning because my dad had to go into work, then I didn’t have much motivation to do anything else. I did work out a little bit this morning and plan to fit in one more later on tonight, but that’s really it. A whole lot of nothing…except thinking, which is something.

I spent far too much time YouTubing concert videos and listening to songs that I haven’t heard in a while. One of the concerts I searched was the Casting Crowns concert I attended last February with some friends from school. For those of you who don’t know, Casting Crowns is an awesome Christian band that I fell in love with the first time I heard this song. This concert was one of the most amazing musical, emotional, and spiritual experiences I have ever had (and I’m longing to experience something like it again soon)! There was something truly awe-inspiring about being in a huge, sold out concert arena where people are singing along and having their own (public) private prayer conversations the entire night, to music in its most pure form.  

The more songs I listened to, the more I started thinking. And even praying in my own way. There are phases that I go through where all I want to listen to is Christian music. I have a playlist on my iPod with something like 300 songs on it. When I get those feelings within me, I know that–for one reason or anotther–I am being reminded to come back to my faith, to take some time out, and to really think, reflect, and pray. Even when, sometimes, I might not feel like I have wandered away.

For me, the music is a beautiful portrayal of God’s love and His grace and gifts that he gives each of us. There are some songs that I might not have chosen to listen to on a particular day, but shuffle puts them right into my ears, and into my heart. Who says God doesn’t work through music? 🙂 

That’s what today’s supposed “nothingness” has reminded me. That I need to take some QT with my playlist, my journal, my Bible, and my Father; gladly.

A lesson in getting out of my own way

It’s been a little bit since I wrote an exercise and PT related post about myself so, I figured, why not tonight? My love/hate relationship with anything having to do with exercise has always stemmed from the inconsistency I tend to often see in my abilities as a person with CP. Some days I’m extremely tight, some days I’m only slightly tight. There is no loose in my vocabulary lately, due to taking the better part of sophomore-senior year of college off in the PT department. Some days, the task I worked on yesterday that I accomplished with ease seems completely foreign and not possible. I know that everyone faces day to day challenges, especially in exercise settings, but when you’re working toward such a huge goal, you look for those consistences to prove you’re doing something right and they don’t always come. Until now.

Tonight I was talking a friend who’s currently studying abroad for the semester in Cork, Ireland. We were catching up on random pieces of eachother’s lives, when she said something that struck me so much I really needed to make it a part of a post. “You know what I’ve come to realize? Life’s not that hard. And it’s not that complicated.” At first I laughed. But then I thought, “you know, I think I agree with that”.

I’ve been consistently working on exercise and things at home for 3 weeks. 3 weeks and 1 day to be exact.  While it was an adjustment at first, it hasn’t really been that hard. Life isn’t that hard or that complicated. All it’s taken is a little planning (I’ve spent about 2 hours a day so far working), a little determination, and some journaling to keep myself on track.

I’m really proud of myself and, while I don’t try to think about seeing any results as a sort of denfense mechanism for not being let down, I have a PT appointment on Monday and I’d love to see if any of the things I’ve been working on are helping when I have a real session (it’s hard for me to gauge at home).

I think it’s all about knowing when to get out of your own way and just go for something. Put the effort in, call it yours, and go get it. For me, that time has come. It came a few weeks ago when I was sent that Crossfit article and video that I blogged about a few posts back. It was my “wake up call”; that somehow I got stuck on exist, rather than live when it comes to my goals, that there was so much I could do (no matter how small to start), and most importantly, that this is not a lost cause. There is hope. And there is proof, in an amazing women named Marissa, that this can happen! (Please take the time to click the link above and go watch the video if you haven’t. It might change you, too.)

I’m stepping out of my own way and knowing at the end of the day…no matter what happens, I did all I could on that day. That’s what I’m feeling 3 weeks in anyway, and this feeling seems long-lasting.

In the end, life isn’t that hard, or that complicated. Thanks Joce! 🙂

Charity:Water

I’ve been playing around with my template and background for the blog all day! My apologies if it’s been different every time you’ve looked at it for the past few days! 🙂 I’ve changed the background, template, images etc. at least 3 times this week, only to end up changing it back to the original theme. I just can’t seem to find anything I like!

One little addition you will notice though, is my lovely SocialVibe badge on the right. SocialVibe is an organization that partners with different charities to raise money for them by putting these badges on the site and hoping they receive clicks from site viewers. Basically, how it works is you (the visitor) will click the badge. A screen will then open up asking you to complete an activity (anywhere from a survey question to a game of some sort) completely free of charge to you. For every activity you complete from clicking on my badge, I receive 100 points to be converted into charity donations. I just did four activities and it took me about 3 minutes.

What is Charity:Water? I’m going to be changing up the badge every few months because I don’t like representing one charity exclusively, but for now I’ve chosen Charity:Water. This is an amazing organization that was brought to my attention in a few ways. Charity:Water provides clean drinking water for many developing countries in need (Central African Republic, Haiti, Ethiopia) through drilling and installation of manageable clean water wells as well as delivery of clean drinking water.

I first heard of Charity:Water from a friend who attended their Annual Ball last weekend because her roommate gave up/pledged her 21st birthday to raise money for the organization. The power of America’s youth adults. I was really interested to find out more about it just from talking to her and looking at pictures. The next night, I happened to be watching the 20/20 special Be the Change: Save a Life and what was one of the charities they were featuring? Charity:Water. I love when that happens! As my mom and I were watching the amazing organizations they were showcasing, we decided that next year we want to give up our birthdays, or donate in the name of family members for Christmas gifts. There is so much need out there. And here. I don’t want to make it seem like I don’t care about our own country. There is just something that draws me to the international realm.

Those of you who know me personally, know that I have always been about volunteerism, giving, anything of that nature. What you might not know, is that I have faced one of the toughest decisions I’ve ever had to make because of this intense passion.

On January 12, 2010, an earthquake struck Port Au Prince, Haiti. I had friends who were boarding a flight that day to make a mission trip to an orphanage in the town of Duverger. The orphanage had not fully opened yet. In fact, at the time, there was only one child living there. In a Grace most fitting with this mission, the orphanage was relatively untouched by the earthquake, but immediately saw an influx of close to 100 orphans because of this terrible natural disaster. They were not ready to open, but there was no other choice. My friends did not end up boarding their flight to Haiti, as all commercial flights were immediately shut down. Like so many of us, my heart ached for those people and for those children. I found myself unknowingly ending up on CNN and other news channels while trying to write papers, and I constantly had my e-mail open waiting for updates from the individuals who live in Haiti permanently. I felt like my body was here, but my heart had gone to Haiti. When commercial flights opened back up in March of last year, I was approached with the offer of the last plane ticket in the group to travel for a weeklong mission. My heart was overjoyed. But I knew this wasn’t a decision to enter into lightly. I thought and thought, prayed and prayed. My parent’s weren’t really sold on the idea for fear of aftershocks, not to mention accessibility in a developing country. (Sidenote: Do any of my bloggers know anything about this/mission work, etc.?) The more I prayed, the more torn I became. Though my heart wanted to go to Haiti, I knew I wasn’t going to. It wasn’t where the Path was leading. 

It was a tough decision to turn down that offer, and even tougher when it came time to see everyone’s photos from the trip and hear amazing stories of love, hope, and the power of the human spirit, but my mission was, and is currently, to be here. Serving others the way I serve; the way I was made to. It is my hope that this simple act of a Charity:Water badge can be just a small part of that.

Thanks for listening.

Hope [noun, verb]

1. The feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best.

2. To look forward to with desire and reasonable confidence.

The two definitions of hope, courtesy of Dictionary.com. I wanted to start out my Winter Camp Care post with these definitions just to show how broad hope can be, how there are so many ways one can have hope, and how there are so many reasons to have hope. Almost any situation, event, or object can fit into one of these two definitions. We all have different hopes. For ourselves, for our loved ones, for the world, the list could go on and on.

As I mentioned in my MM post (I hope you enjoyed those songs!), hope was the camp theme this session. Our shirts were printed with Faith. Hope. Love. on the back; hope a little more bold and upfront than the other two. We all knew this was going to be an amazing session, but we always think that.

Our morning inspiration started off with one of the therapists reading the Rich Mullins essay, 23rd at 32. It’s a moving story about fear, faith, hope, and the balance between the three. Check it out at the link above. I was playing both sides this Camp; patient in the AM, volunteer in the afternoon, but my session wasn’t until midmorning on Saturday. It ended up being nice enough outside that we took some of the kids (in coats and hats and gloves, don’t worry moms!) to play wonderball, and soccer, and whatever else they wanted. Some kids could run around on their own, some had to be pushed, and some had to be carried. Either way, everyone was having a good time! And we definitely have some future soccer stars at Camp! 🙂 

I played photographer for a bit outside and will post some of those pictures when I get them. Capturing these moments through the lens is always as exhilarating as it is to experience them first hand.

When I went in for my Bootcamp session, which started out with another mini Crossfit workout, I was less than thrilled. I’ve been feeling “stuck” and like I don’t do enough for myself outside of PT sessions. This tends to be a recurring thought every 6 months or so.  With that feeling, I wasn’t really expecting the bootcamp session to go that well. Plus, I’m still getting used to this whole “crutches only” lifestyle I’m trying to live. It’s hard to explain, but there a safety in the walker, knowing that if you let go to lift something over year head, it’s behind you if you lose your balance. With crutches, if you lift an arm over your head, you’re also lifting half of your stability. Without going into major details, it was much harder for me this time, because it was much more active.  Which also gets my brain playing the “this shouldn’t be so hard” game. I don’t recommend it. Not that fun of a game! The second hour stretching felt amazing, though! If someone could come over and decompress my spine for that long everyday I’d be a very happy girl!

My absolute favorite part of Winter Camp is the Christmas Show. It’s a performing arts showcase, but on by the Skating Club of Hartford. They sing, dance, and dress up (no skates!) to perform different Christmas Carols and love-themed songs to represent the Christmas season. The kids love seeing Santa, Rudolph, and Gingerbread men dance around for them, and I love watching the joy on their faces. In the middle of the show,I wish I could tell you what song it was, I broke down crying. I’m not ever sure what sparked it, but something got to me. 

The theme was hope. And with these children, these families, these volunteers, and these therapists–this is the place I feel most hopeful. I sat there for a minute just taking in my emotions and having one of my ever-popular silent conversations with God; wondering where this came from and what I was supposed to do about it.  I made up my mind that whatever He wanted to do about it would be done tomorrow, because all that was left of the day was indoor activities while the 3rd bootcamp session went on.

The third bootcamp session. The deeper I got into conversation, I knew He was willing me to be at the 3rd session. After the way the first session went, I didn’t know if this was such a good idea. But I’m learning it’s better not to question. 😉 Apprehensively, I drove back to Crossroads and asked my PT if the 3rd group was a specific group of kids, or if I could join again…and downstairs I went again. Since all of us in 3rd session had already been stretched in the morning, it was much more active. We worked on core strength, kneeling, crawling & patterning, and sitting. Yes, sitting. For all of us in the group, sitting on the floor unaided either cross legged or otherwise, can be really challenging and quite a workout. I hadn’t worked on sitting or really been able to, since Summer Camp. Or so I thought. It wasn’t easy, but I was able to do it for about 5-8 minutes. And everything else. All while this was happening, two moms were telling stories about their sons, both young adults ages 18 and 23, who had been told to have no hope. Doctors had written them off, therapies had been cut, nothing seemed to be going anywhere. Until they decided to take control, both by coming to Crossroads and Camp and by doing something for themselves and working toward something. The stopped using everyone else’s lack of hope for them as an excuse, and found their own.

As you can imagine, being in a room with 12 other people, all fighting as you have fought can really play with your heart. As one of these moms was speaking for her son Chris, who has very limited verbal ability, all I could do was stare into his eyes, and sit a little taller for a little longer, even though I was getting tired; to keep fighting as he does.This was my moment of awakening, my moment of finding my own hope. I don’t want to say I’d lost hope in the past few months, but it wasn’t easy to find. I was still using every excuse in the book to my advantage. I was still afraid to try. And I still had not found reason for me to hope for myself. That all changed this camp. I realized that it’s not magic fairy dust that gives me the ability to do very well in a PT session, but then not at home. It’s not environmental. And there’s no outside force to blame. Yes, therapies have been cut and doctors have expressed their lack of belief, but it’s been 2 years now. I can’t keep using that as my shield anymore.  It’s all on me. I’m the one putting in the effort or not putting in the effort. And I’m the one holding myself back or propelling myself forward.

There you go, more life lessons learned via Camp Care. Hope you enjoyed!