The Worst Form of Pity

Just a quick post…a rant if you will…

We’ve all seen it done to others, perhaps we’ve even done it ourselves sometimes. Pitied someone because of the situation they are in.  This is something I see a lot of as a person with a disability. It’s been done to me, I’ve seen it done to the kids I work with at camp, I’ve done it at times.  I’m not claiming to be perfect, but it’s wrong and, hopefully, perceptions will start to change soon. There are so many forms of pity: stares, statements, you name it. Yet, I think I have officially encountered the worst form to date: excuses.

Let me tell you a little story real quick. Monday night I went to the gym. (I’ve since joined a smaller, more personal group exercise focused gym since my last few posts about joining the Y. I gave it a few months, but it wasn’t for me for various reasons. I’m SO much happier and much more active where I am now.) I started taking this class on a whim last Monday because I wanted to start to branch out to other classes and other challenges besides spin.  I guess challenge is a good word because I wasn’t too sure what the class was, but it sounded interesting.  It ended up being all about agility and sports conditioning type stuff, which definitely isn’t what I’m good at, but I’m loving the variation and that there are so many modifications that I can do so I’m still getting the same kick ass workout as everyone else!

So anyway, this past Monday, the class was outdoors since it was so nice outside.  The gym has two parking lots-upper and lower-and to finish the class, we had to run up the hill to the upper parking lot, do a series of exercises and things set out in the upper parking lot, then run back down to the bottom.  Now, this hill was no Columbia 5k hill from hell, but I haven’t tried to run a hill since…oh, October, so it hurt.  Naturally, I was bringing up the rear, but I’ve gotten used to this over the years of doing races and I’m honestly okay with it–I swear!! I like that I have to be the one to push myself to finish something because no one else is around to push me.

As I was finishing everything in the top part of the lot, I noticed that one of the women in the class seemed to be holding herself up waiting for me.  Immediately, and being the positive person I generally am, I thought that was really nice of her to wait as she probably didn’t want me to be alone in case of a problem.  When I got closer to her, she yelled out to me, “This is good, I don’t mind waiting for you. You can be my excuse as to why I’m not pushing so hard.” (You may now pick your jaw up off the floor).

I honestly don’t think this woman said this to be offensive or that she even realized what she had said, so let’s not get angry. I have no hard feelings for her at all and just brushed the comment off, but I was dumbfounded for a moment. It really got me thinking about one thing I want to say to the world.

Please don’t pity me. And above all else, please don’t ever use me as an excuse.  It may take me longer to do something, you may need to wait for me, but I’m out there busting my ass just as hard as everyone else and I’ve got not excuses running through my head.  So if you’re going to look to me at all, look to me as a motivator (which I’m also not entirely comfortable with), but don’t look to me as your reason to slow down a bit.  Put the work in for yourself, just as I do, because in the end when you’re facing that hill from hell, the only person you have to answer to when you’re asking if you’ve done enough is yourself.

Again, I have no hard feelings and this woman is very nice. It’s simply that the interaction sparked a general idea and pet peeve in me that I had to put out there for all of you.

Also, I know I’ve been a bad blogger, but consider this my welcome back! Thanks for sticking with me. 🙂

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7 thoughts on “The Worst Form of Pity

  1. I have always told you, even when you were very small, that you inspire me everyday. You are an amazing young woman who I love very much. Love Uncle Larry

  2. That’s right moll……She shouldn’t use you as an excuse to be lazy… esp as someone who knows that on the outside I may look like I am taking my time, but in reality, my “hustle” just looks different 😀

  3. Molly, I like this post. It really made me think – as all your posts do. Love you lots. You are such an inspiration to me and Uncle Gabe. xxoo

  4. Molly,
    Every day I pray that you continue to be an inspiration to all of the people in your life, your family and friends, those you meet and those you will help along the way. You are an inspiration to me and no doubt many others.

    Love you!
    Stephanie

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