Just say it

About 6 months ago, I installed the “God Wants You to Know” app on my Facebook page. In the beginning I didn’t necessarily put much stock into them. “It’s just some random person getting paid way more than I ever will to craft inspirational messages” was the thought in my head. But then things started getting weird and, well, I’ll read my message today for yourself…

“If all you had to do was wish for something and you would have it, life would be pretty boring, wouldn’t it? God placed barriers between us and what we want, so we can enjoy interesting and satisfying lives. God hid our biggest rewards behind the highest barriers – our deepest fears. God wants us to face our fears, and hold ground in their presence, and let them go, and that’s how we get out biggest rewards. What are you most afraid of? Say it, just start by saying it.”

Yeah, that happened. Just so you know, I don’t believe in coincidences.

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More rambles

There are so many random thoughts going through my head today. I blame the absolutely GORGEOUS weather!

Dear Mother Nature, can it please stay like this from now on?? πŸ™‚

Thanks to everyone who showed their support on my last two posts. I definitely felt it. I am happy to report that I’m back on track and really ready to go again. I find myself questioning so many things all the time, but it always comes back to my heart and the dreams and goals that sit, impatiently, inside waiting to be let out. They haven’t changed in years. And that’s OKAY. They are what I want to do, what make me happy, for ME. And I’m going to do them. (I’ll get into what some of those are at a later date).

So, for now, it’s back to basics–stretching everyday (EW!), crawling, standing, walking. And, most importantly, remembering that I need to breathe every now and then. I tend to forget that all too often πŸ™‚

The Dance

That last post I wrote was totally me pulling a Debbie Downer. I was feeling stuck in a rut, and didn’t really know what to do. I can’t really apologize for my feelings as they were expressed, but I can definitely apologize leaving everyone wondering what the heck was going on for a few days.

Crossroads came at the perfect time this week (along with a visit from my college roommate and a spin class) and has really helped me get back on track both mentally and physically. I’m not going to go into details, since a lot of it was really…profound actually…and quite personal as far as the whole brain effecting the body; body effecting the brain thing goes, but what I can say this this:

I’m learning that, sometimes, the only thing to do is to get upset, and get angry, and not know what to do. Because if you deny yourself those emotions, they can so easily turn to hate. Hatred of the situation your in, or worse, hatred of yourself. That is a difficult place to be, and somewhere even more difficult to climb out of once you’re there.

There’s a fine line between the two sides, between the two “worlds” I often say I feel like I find myself living it. It truly is a dance. And the only way to dance it well is to take it each step at a time. I’m still learning the steps…

Frustration

Lost: Motivation.

If found, please return to Molly ASAP.

Just a quick post tonight because, quite honestly, I need way more sleep than I’m about to get. Finished classes tonight! (For a week) then summer class starts, but it’s only 2 nights a week for 5 weeks so that’s pretty much a win.

I just need to vent. Or something. I’ve completely lost motivation lately on anything physical related, and even though I know it’s normal, it’s scaring me a little. And by lost motivation I really mean haven’t done one little thing in a little over two weeks. Granted I’ve had a crazy intense few weeks with school, figuring out classes for summer, and my dog almost dying (he didn’t though, he’s home safe with us!). But those all just feel like excuses to me at this point. I always feel like when I get to the point where I recognize my lack of motivation I should be ready to jump back in, but I’m just not.

And the only thing I can think is, if all these things are so important to me (walking, PT, everything) how do I so easily blow them off for week. It’s frustrating. It’s upsetting. Yet, I don’t know quite how to get back. I’m not trying to throw myself a pity party here. I just don’t really get it.

Do any of my other followers have this issue with PT or other such things? What do you do?

Friday Five

1. It’s been 20 days since my last post. Sorry! This is my attempt at promising to be a loyal (and informative) blogger over the next few months.

2. Next Tuesday, I will officially be done with my first year of Grad School! It’s crazy how fast a school year goes by.Β Speaking of Grad School, I’m totally using this random blog post as a way to procrastinate on writing y last final of the year. Whoops.

3. I came across an amazing disability awareness site and clothing line the other day. I’m definitely going to be ordering a shirt or two. Check out 3E Love and let me know what you think! πŸ™‚

4. As of this afternoon, I officially have a fully modified vehicle to use in my possession. I’m hoping to get enough training in and test for my license by the end of summer!

5. Camp Care is coming up in just under 3 months…look for a series of posts focused around Camp, its mission, kids, and what you could do to be a part of this years Camp Care! πŸ™‚