Our Cross to Bear

I was deeply moved to write a post today, Good Friday, due to some beautiful words I read today from my girl Lindsey at Arms High, Heart Abandoned.  Thanks love! 🙂

Many of you know, or have at least figured out by now, that I am very strong in my faith and it is something that, in the past few years has really become a much bigger part of my daily life.  What some of you may not know is how much Good Friday changed my life and my faith a few years ago. Well, not the actual day itself, but the message that it brings to us.

In my junior year of college, I went on a retreat in which each night represented a day of the Easter Triduum (Holy Thursday, Good Friday, Easter Sunday).

The second night, we had Veneration of the Cross.  Being still so “young” in my faith, I didn’t really know what this was, and as I sat there listening to our priest, and watching others take their time to pray and kiss the wood of the Cross, I wasn’t sure I was ready to do something like that.

I wasn’t ready to fully realize that Christ died for us–to save us, and out of extraordinary love for us. And that all of us included me as well. He bore a cross; a heavy burden in every sense of the word, so that we may live the life His Father planned for us. As I sat reflecting and praying, this amazing feeling began to wash over me. To this day, the only way I can describe it is a feeling of understanding; and in the moment, I got up and knelt down at the cross, kissed the wood, and let all my emotion come pouring out.

I firmly believe that moment was the beginning of my faith story.  In that moment, I began to understand. I understood why the Father gave Jesus His cross to bear, and why He obeyed, even in the times of betrayal, pain, and ultimate darkness.

With that understanding, I began to see the purpose for the Crosses I’ve been asked to bear in my own life. Though there are times (still every day–no one is perfect!) when I question, and times when it seems like it’s just becoming too much, I know that there is someone who has gone through this too; Jesus. That can bring tremendous comfort if you let it.

We are asked to bear Cross as He did. Each one of us knows what our own personal Cross is and how it impacts our life. Yet, while it is an individual journey, we are made to remember that we are not alone. Jesus is right there with us, to help us carry our Cross when it becomes too much. Because that’s How He Loves.

Motivation Monday: Ryan Hall

After watching a history-making 2011 Boston Marathon this morning, in which world records were met, an American woman finished 2nd, and an American man finished 4th, I’m quite insipred and quite motivated.

Who was that man in 4th? Ryan Hall. An amazing person, an amazing athlete, and an amazing man of his Faith.

A friend shared this video entitled “How Does Running Glorify God” a while back, and it put my faith, my struggles, my triumphs, and my races both on road and in life, into perspective.

Feel free to check it out, or just keep on reading through your blogroll if this doesn’t interest you. I won’t be offended! 🙂

“My career is basically about pain management. It’s how much pain can you handle, for how long can you handle it?” -Ryan Hall on the marathon

Music Monday: The Story

It’s been a while since I posted a MM. This song has always, always been a favorite of mine. Now that Sara Ramirez has done a cover of it for the Grey’s Anatomy Music Event, I love it even more. Enjoy. 🙂

The Story-Sara Ramirez

All of these lines across my face
Tell you the story of who I am
So many stories of where I’ve been
And how I got to where I am

But these stories don’t mean anything
When you’ve got no one to tell them to
It’s true, I was made for you

I climbed across the mountaintops
Travel across the ocean blue
I cross over lines and I broke all the rules
And baby I broke them all for you

Oh because even when I was flat broke
You made me feel like a million bucks
You do, I was made for you

You see the smile that’s on my mouth
It’s hiding the words that don’t come out
All of the friends who think that I’m blessed
They don’t know I’m in this mess

No they don’t know who I really am
And they don’t know what I’ve been through
Like you do, and I was made for you

All of these lines across my face
Tell you the story of who I am
So many stories of where I’ve been
And how I got to where I am

Oh but these stories don’t mean anything
When you’ve got no one to tell them to
It’s true, I was made for you
Oh yeah, and it’s true that I was made for you.

The blessing (and curse) of Google…

I’ve come to realize lately just how much of my time is spent on Google. Sure, sometimes it’s purely out of procrastination (kindof like me writing this post right now instead of working on a take-home exam), but a lot of times I spend hours on the search engine trying to find any information on anything. I’m weird that way, I suppose.

First of all, I need to say, I’m not writing this post to look for your positive accolades about the things I may chose to do in my life. I’m writing this post to be honest. And to bring awareness to something that doesn’t get enough.

The fact that we, as a society, have the opportunity to have all this vast amount of information readily available is a pretty awesome blessing. Without google, I wouldn’t have find some of the many blogs I follow, for one. Search engines have changed our world on many levels.

Yet, they’re also a curse sometimes. What do I mean? I’ve always googled CP. You never know what new info or people have surfaced as resources. When I was younger, I would search things because I didn’t want to ask anyone else about things. Now, it’s a little different. Now, I’m a little sick of asking people and getting their “professional opinions” instead of facts. Yes, there is a difference.

I know that the internet isn’t always the best source but, in my opinion, it’s better to hear from someone with similar experience than someone who has spent their time only reading about things in textbooks. Lately–maybe in the past 6 months or so–the search has expanded from just CP to CP and…

  • CP and…running
  • CP and…marathons
  • CP and…exercise/Crossfit
  • CP and…walking

Okay, so maybe there is a pattern here. And maybe I am a little insane. But this is what I’ve constantly been spending my time Googling lately. And this is where the curse comes in. Sure, I’ve found some valuable contacts, like Greg and Amy, and read some amazing stories, like those of Dominique and Marissa, but there isn’t much more info out there.

For some things, it’s no big deal, but for many others it’s frustrating. Like the fact that there are no “training plans” for people with disabilities who want to run an endurance event. I get that those are often very individualized and have to be altered, but nothing?? You can’t tell me no one has ever done it. Clearly people have. Same thing with walking. Same thing with Crossfit. Okay, maybe not Crossfit, because that’s a bit of a “new” thing, but exercise certainly. People (of all abilities) exercise everyday!!

That’s when Google becomes a curse. When you’re looking through this amazing super-database, and the information is just not there.

The more time I spend on searching, and the more I try to come up with my own database for myself, the more I am introduced to a new chapter in my story and a new meaning to my struggle. Maybe I will do some of these things and maybe, when I do, I will be able to get the world out to others who are just as frustrated by this wall. Did I just say I’m going to do a marathon? I don’t know. I guess you’ll have to stay tuned! 😉

Note: this wasn’t meant to attack Google. I’m hating on all search engines equally! 🙂