Generally, I really don’t like these themed blog days, but today a Thankful Thursday post seemed appropriate. Ever have those days where your mind is everywhere and nowhere at the same time? Today was definitely one of those. I’m not really sure why, but I woke up knowing that was going to be the case.
Wrote a paper this morning, couldn’t stop thinking about my desire to go back to bed until the rain stopped. Worked out, couldn’t stop thinking about how much more I really should be doing daily. Went to class, couldn’t stop thinking about Boston in 48 hours. What can’t I stop thinking about now? Thinking.
We all do it without even realizing we do it. We think. About everything we need to get done, plan events in our heads, fix our (and often the world’s) problems. I’m a thinker in the worst way possible. I have to plan. I love to have lists. I can very rarely do something without a concrete goal in mind. I don’t know if it’s because I hate the idea of the unknown, or if it’s just an organizational thing, but I am always thinking. And definitely not always about my own life. I am admittedly one of those world problem solver types. It’s a blessing and a curse I tell you.
I bet you think I’m going to wrap this post up with some neat little sentiment how I’m so thankful for the ability to think, that my cognitive processes are all intact and luckily not something strongly affected by my CP. Don’t get me wrong, and I certainly don’t mean to offend anyone. I am thankful for that, as we all should be. What I am more thankful for tonight though, are those moments when I’m not thinking. Those moments when I don’t have time to think things through fully. Those moments when I listen to my heart instead of my head. Those moments when everything stops, and I just am. I am in this moment, in this space. Living.
I know there has to be something going on in my mind and my heart that sparked this, though that has not been revealed to me yet. The one thing I do know is that the reason I love these moments the most is because they are ignoring the things we (okay, I won’t speak for all of us!) I tend to live my life around far too often: fear and control. When I stop thinking, stop planning, stop “figuring out”–that is when the great adventures start to come into my life; the things I hope for and dream of. The things I fight for.
So, tonight, I suppose you could say I’m thankful for the quiet, the stop lights of life within my mind and my soul that cause me to just go with my heart and go with the light shining on the path.
That was a very random post. Thanks for listening.